Archive for January 2015

Silences   Leave a comment

2. Silences

You could hear the silence for miles around
no ticking clocks
no bird calls
no cattle lowing
nor chicken’s cluck
silence only silence
for miles and miles around the sunny afternoon lay buried
in silences’ vale

sighing she lay across her bed
the sun cruised through the window
it warmed her naked flesh
sighing she lay
despondent
how could there be such a day

she had to tell Them
it was too late to go
she heard Their hearts breaking on the stairwell
he sat capping honey
She cried into her hands
the guilt of burdening them

Why did you go there?
Was all he said.
Then he stopped himself and left
They all knew
It wasn’t her fault
She didn’t want this to happen
Had she been a fault?
She questioned herself.

Guilt, shame and silence were the reward
silenced forever in silence’s glade
shrivelling on the inside
stumbling through life
she heard the silence daily
in swathes and swathes and swathes.

Posted January 25, 2015 by raperelatedptsdsurvivor in Uncategorized

Telling   Leave a comment

1. Telling

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear
You can stop reading now
You can deal with your fear
‘Will i feel sickened?’
‘Will I be depressed?’
‘Will I hate myself or her?’

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear
Slow down your defences
Shut down your fears
Listen, just listen,
Are you all ears?
This won’t hurt you
It won’t hurt me.

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear
Rape happens
Rape happened
It happens every day
Turning your back
Won’t make it go away
It could be you or yours
It happened to me

I’m going to tell you something you don’t want to hear
My tongue is slowly loosening
It has taken years and years
My mouth is opening
My breathe is tight and high
My finger quiver on the keyboard
It’s all by and by

I’m not going to tell you anything you don’t want to hear
The words are stuck inside me
It doesn’t matter now
I’m over it
It’s past
I’m better now
It didn’t happen
Not to me

I’m not telling you what you don’t want to hear
I’m OK
I’m great
It was someone else who died that day
And she isn’t here
Another person
Lost long ago on men’s tribal spear
No I’m not going to tell you anything you don’t want to hear

Posted January 25, 2015 by raperelatedptsdsurvivor in Uncategorized